Monday, March 8, 2010
20 reasons why Virgos SUCK
20. Flirtatious
19. Energetic to the point of sheer MADNESS
18. Vain. REALLY vain.
17. Judgmental to the point of sheer MADNESS
16. Slobs with an ironic case of OCD
15. Hypochondriacs
14. Throw their bodies at everything
13. Loud, obnoxious
12. Physical and hug too much and sit on peoples laps and PDA is to the extreme.
11. Cry about their passions (when their insulted)
10. Believe their lives are awful.
09. Never finishes anything
08. Neurotic about people taking their individuality away
07. Health fanatics, its like, no one cares what you eat.
06. “Surface” minded
05. Impressionable
04. Stupidly Optimistic
03. Spoiled
02. Are constantly correcting people, even if they’re alone, and it’s to their TV set.
01. The Virgin? Psh, yeah right.
Various Authors
19. Energetic to the point of sheer MADNESS
18. Vain. REALLY vain.
17. Judgmental to the point of sheer MADNESS
16. Slobs with an ironic case of OCD
15. Hypochondriacs
14. Throw their bodies at everything
13. Loud, obnoxious
12. Physical and hug too much and sit on peoples laps and PDA is to the extreme.
11. Cry about their passions (when their insulted)
10. Believe their lives are awful.
09. Never finishes anything
08. Neurotic about people taking their individuality away
07. Health fanatics, its like, no one cares what you eat.
06. “Surface” minded
05. Impressionable
04. Stupidly Optimistic
03. Spoiled
02. Are constantly correcting people, even if they’re alone, and it’s to their TV set.
01. The Virgin? Psh, yeah right.
Various Authors
20 reasons why Pisces SUCK
20. Immature like a toddler on a bad vacation to a chocolate factory
19. Can’t take a hint
18. Overly sensitive
17. Dramatic
16. Is seriously confused about what is “fair” and “justice”
15. A complaint hog
14. Bossy
13. For some reason is only concerned with their selves no matter how much they preach they aren’t.
12. Throws tantrums
11. Weird sense of humor
10. Gets angry for every reason anyone could ever think of…ever
09. Thinks they can manipulate with the skill of Adolf himself. HAH Right.
08. Is tyrannical with any type of power given.
07. Plays all innocent when their devious, self serving side is revealed.
06. Only treats others decent when it will make THEM look better.
05. Yells too much when they get excited.
04. Feels threatened everytime someone is better at something
03. Cries when no one pays attention to them. Boo Hoo.
02. Believe their problems out way every travesty that ever happen to humanity.
01. IS NEVER SATISFIED WITH ANYTHING, EVER
Various Authors
19. Can’t take a hint
18. Overly sensitive
17. Dramatic
16. Is seriously confused about what is “fair” and “justice”
15. A complaint hog
14. Bossy
13. For some reason is only concerned with their selves no matter how much they preach they aren’t.
12. Throws tantrums
11. Weird sense of humor
10. Gets angry for every reason anyone could ever think of…ever
09. Thinks they can manipulate with the skill of Adolf himself. HAH Right.
08. Is tyrannical with any type of power given.
07. Plays all innocent when their devious, self serving side is revealed.
06. Only treats others decent when it will make THEM look better.
05. Yells too much when they get excited.
04. Feels threatened everytime someone is better at something
03. Cries when no one pays attention to them. Boo Hoo.
02. Believe their problems out way every travesty that ever happen to humanity.
01. IS NEVER SATISFIED WITH ANYTHING, EVER
Various Authors
20 reasons why Aquarians Suck
20. Insecure about their body because they are generally fat and loves fast food
19. likes to drink TOO much and still claims they are NOT an alcoholic
18. Know it all
17. Judgmental
16. Gossips like it’s a part of their breathing
15. Claims they are individual
14. Weird pet peeves
13. Temper Temper Temper!
12. Hates Clichés
11. Control freak
10. Get bored too easy
09. Dark and feels they need to be loved
08. Love to con people to give them what they need
07. Lazy as a paraplegic donkey
06. Think they are funny
05. Weird laugh
04. Gets insulted easy
03. Needs to be flattered in order to feel good
02. Thinks too highly of themselves
01. Belittles people to make them feel better about themselves!
Numerous Authors
19. likes to drink TOO much and still claims they are NOT an alcoholic
18. Know it all
17. Judgmental
16. Gossips like it’s a part of their breathing
15. Claims they are individual
14. Weird pet peeves
13. Temper Temper Temper!
12. Hates Clichés
11. Control freak
10. Get bored too easy
09. Dark and feels they need to be loved
08. Love to con people to give them what they need
07. Lazy as a paraplegic donkey
06. Think they are funny
05. Weird laugh
04. Gets insulted easy
03. Needs to be flattered in order to feel good
02. Thinks too highly of themselves
01. Belittles people to make them feel better about themselves!
Numerous Authors
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tenderly
It's not a fancy restaurant, nor is it
a dump and it's packed this Saturday night
when suddenly a man leaps onto his tabletop,
whips out his prick and begins sawing at it
with a butter knife. I can't stand it
anymore! he shouts. The waiters grab him
before he draws blood and hustle him
out the back. Soon the other diners return
to their fillets and slices of duck. How
peculiar, each, in some fashion, articulates.
Consider how the world implants a picture
in our brains. Maybe thirty people watched
this nut attack him member with a dull knife
and for each, forever after, the image pops up
a thousand times. I once saw the oddest thing-
how often does each announce this fact?
In the distant future, several at death's door
once more recollect this guy hacking at himself
and die shaking their heads. So they are linked
as a family is linked-through a single portrait.
The man's wobbly perch on the white tablecloth,
his open pants and strangled red chunk of flesh
become for each a symbol of having had precisely
enough, of slipping over the edge, of being whipped
about the chops by the finicky world, and of reacting
with a rash mutiny against the tyranny of desire.
As for the lunatic who was tossed out the back
and left to rethink his case among the trash cans,
who knows what happened to him? A short life,
most likely, additional humiliation and defeat.
but the thirty patrons wish him well. They all
have burden to shoulder in this world and whenever
one feels the strap begin to slip, he or she thinks
of the nut dancing with his dick on the tabletop
and trudges on. At least life has spared me this,
they think. And one-a retired banker-represents
the rest when he hopes against hope that the lunatic
is parked on a topless foreign beach with a beauty
clasped in his loving arms, breathing heavily, Oh,
darling, touch me there, tenderly, one more time!
-Stephen Dobyns
a dump and it's packed this Saturday night
when suddenly a man leaps onto his tabletop,
whips out his prick and begins sawing at it
with a butter knife. I can't stand it
anymore! he shouts. The waiters grab him
before he draws blood and hustle him
out the back. Soon the other diners return
to their fillets and slices of duck. How
peculiar, each, in some fashion, articulates.
Consider how the world implants a picture
in our brains. Maybe thirty people watched
this nut attack him member with a dull knife
and for each, forever after, the image pops up
a thousand times. I once saw the oddest thing-
how often does each announce this fact?
In the distant future, several at death's door
once more recollect this guy hacking at himself
and die shaking their heads. So they are linked
as a family is linked-through a single portrait.
The man's wobbly perch on the white tablecloth,
his open pants and strangled red chunk of flesh
become for each a symbol of having had precisely
enough, of slipping over the edge, of being whipped
about the chops by the finicky world, and of reacting
with a rash mutiny against the tyranny of desire.
As for the lunatic who was tossed out the back
and left to rethink his case among the trash cans,
who knows what happened to him? A short life,
most likely, additional humiliation and defeat.
but the thirty patrons wish him well. They all
have burden to shoulder in this world and whenever
one feels the strap begin to slip, he or she thinks
of the nut dancing with his dick on the tabletop
and trudges on. At least life has spared me this,
they think. And one-a retired banker-represents
the rest when he hopes against hope that the lunatic
is parked on a topless foreign beach with a beauty
clasped in his loving arms, breathing heavily, Oh,
darling, touch me there, tenderly, one more time!
-Stephen Dobyns
Friday, February 12, 2010
Neuroticfish - A Greater Good
I don't agree to your ancient and pathetic point of view
I just dont see that I cannot be much better than all of you
Sometimes I think I'll falter
But I will never fall
And I know that I'd rather should
For a greater good
It's all your belief, your trust in this childish spirituality
You will be decieved, but don't you dare to question my purity
I know that I may falter
But I'm not afraid to fall
There's no way even if I could
For a greater good
But yes I know in your eyes there is always hope for me
It's time to go; your lost ones found a way to live free
Sometimes I think I'll falter
But I'm not afraid to fall
And I know that I'd rather should
For a greater good
I just dont see that I cannot be much better than all of you
Sometimes I think I'll falter
But I will never fall
And I know that I'd rather should
For a greater good
It's all your belief, your trust in this childish spirituality
You will be decieved, but don't you dare to question my purity
I know that I may falter
But I'm not afraid to fall
There's no way even if I could
For a greater good
But yes I know in your eyes there is always hope for me
It's time to go; your lost ones found a way to live free
Sometimes I think I'll falter
But I'm not afraid to fall
And I know that I'd rather should
For a greater good
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